In this blog post, I'll take a closer look at the science behind the benefits of hugging. You might have heard the popular saying by Virginia Satir - a family therapist and pioneer in the field - that we need "four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth." While these numbers aren't based on rigorous scientific research, they beautifully remind us of the powerful role that a simple hug can play in our emotional and mental well-being.
I would like to show you how hugs help reduce stress, alleviate pain, and foster a deep emotional bond between you and your children.
Biological Foundations
Oxytocin – The Cuddle Hormone
Even a simple hug triggers the release of oxytocin in our bodies. This hormone not only creates an intense feeling of closeness and connectedness, but also reduces stress. In children, oxytocin plays a crucial role, as it helps to alleviate fears, lower blood pressure, and strengthen the immune system. Especially in sensitive moments, this natural reaction creates an atmosphere of safety and trust.
Reduction of Stress Hormones and Inflammatory Markers
Studies show that regular hugs significantly lower cortisol levels—the stress hormone. In young adults, it has been demonstrated that daily hugs are associated with a reduction in inflammatory substances. These positive effects not only support overall well-being but also strengthen the body's defenses in the long run. Especially in times when external stressors increase, this natural stress reduction is invaluable.
Hugs as Natural Painkillers and Soothers
Pain Relief in Newborns
Research shows that newborns who are comforted in their mother’s arms during a blood draw display less pain behavior, have a lower heart rate, and cry for shorter periods. This finding underscores the importance of physical closeness.
Gentle Touch During Medical Procedures
Even during minor medical procedures, such as a venipuncture, loving hugs and gentle caresses can help alleviate pain. This soothing method helps children cope better with stressful situations and reduces the fear of medical treatments.
Strengthening Emotional Bonds and Social Competence
Promoting the Parent-Child Bond
Parental hugs are far more than just a sign of affection. Studies have shown that even in infants as young as about four months, regular physical closeness triggers a parasympathetic response—evidenced by a reduced heart rate. This response is not only an indicator of physical well-being but also lays the foundation for a strong, trusting bond between parents and their children.
Empathy, Self-confidence and Security
Positive touch also promotes the development of social skills. Children who regularly receive loving hugs develop strong self-confidence and are able to build empathetic and trusting relationships with others. This applies not only within the family but also in childcare settings, where an increased sense of security and comfort demonstrably contributes to emotional development.
How Long Should a Hug Ideally Last?
It's a great question—ideally, as long as needed! And yes, there are studies on this topic.
5 to 10 Seconds – A Good Guideline: Many studies suggest that a hug lasting between 5 and 10 seconds can trigger a significant release of oxytocin – the hormone associated with bonding and relaxation – while simultaneously lowering cortisol levels, which are linked to stress.
The Myth of the 20-Second Hug: You may have heard of the so-called 20-second hug, promoted by popular sources. However, this figure is based more on expert opinions than on definitive empirical evidence.
Ultimately, what matters most is the conscious, loving attention shared between you – whether the hug lasts 3, 5, or 10 seconds. What’s important is that you both truly feel present for each other.
Conclusion
The scientific findings are compelling: Hugs are a natural, effective means to strengthen both the body and the soul. They help alleviate pain, reduce stress, and build a deep emotional bond—factors that are invaluable for the healthy development of your children. In a world that is often challenging, every loving hug reminds us of how important closeness is.
Make hugs a regular part of your everyday life and give your child the freedom to decide when the embrace ends - How long does your little one enjoy the hug?
These are the moments of warmth that last a lifetime. Remember, hugs are pretty powerful, and parenting hugs have superpowers!
Last updated: 02/2025
Resources:
Ao et al., 2018: An Open-Label Uncontrolled Trial of the Efficacy and Safety of a Hug with Singing and Rocking for Promotion of Relaxation in Pediatric Patients with Severe Motor and Intellectual Disabilities: Study Protocol. The Kurume Medical Journal.
Bigelow & Power, 2020: Mother–Infant Skin-to-Skin Contact: Short‐ and Long-Term Effects for Mothers and Their Children Born Full-Term. Frontiers in Psychology.
Christie, 2011: Research finds life is a three second experience. British medical journal.
Cohen et al., 2015: Does Hugging Provide Stress-Buffering Social Support? A Study of Susceptibility to Upper Respiratory Infection and Illness. Psychology Science.
Dueren et al., 2021: The influence of duration, arm crossing style, gender, and emotional closeness on hugging behaviour. Acta Psychologica.
Field et al., 1994: Touching in Infant, Toddler, and Preschool Nurseries.
Forsell & Åström, 2012: Meanings of Hugging: From Greeting Behavior to Touching Implications.
Gallace, A., & Spence, C. (2010). The science of interpersonal touch: an overview. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 34(2), 246–259.
Hertenstein, M. J., Holmes, R., McCullough, M., & Keltner, D. (2009). The communication of emotion via touch.Emotion, 9(4), 566–573.
Isaacs, 2023: Love in the time of COVID: The value of the hug. Journal of Paediatrics and Child Health.
Moore et al., 2016: Early skin-to-skin contact for mothers and their healthy newborn infants. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews.
Packheiser et al., 2023: A Comparison of Hugging Frequency and Its Association with Momentary Mood Before and During COVID-19 Using Ecological Momentary Assessment. Health Communication.
Rogers‐Jarrell et al., 2020: Extend an Embrace: The Availability of Hugs Is an Associate of Higher Self-Rated Health in Later Life. Research on Aging.
Romney et al., 2023: Hugs and Cortisol Awakening Response the Next Day: An Ecological Momentary Assessment Study. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.
Roshanray et al., 2020: Comparative Effect of Mother's Hug and Massage on Neonatal Pain Behaviors Caused by Blood Sampling: A Randomized Clinical Trial. Journal of Tropical Pediatrics.
Sumioka et al., 2013: Huggable communication medium decreases cortisol levels. Scientific Reports.
Yoshida et al., 2020: Infants Show Physiological Responses Specific to Parental Hugs. iScience.